Z's Grimoire

Happy Cold Moon Friends!

The end of 2024 is upon us, although technically the Wheel of the Year for many witches and pagans ends at Samhain, in this modern world it is hard not to recognize the symbolism as the big number on our calendars (or phones) advances and offer reflections regardless of your practice.

But those reflections will be saved for the next full moon, today I’ll aim for a streamlined update!

Igniting Intentions

This moons intent is rebirth. I know it’s cliche, but like a phoenix rising from the ashes, there is so much power when things are allowed to die so that new life can spring forth. Whether it is an ancient exotic avian, a false ego or a painful memory committed to paper and forgotten, letting the pain fall away to flames unlocks the magic of the experience while easing the pain, and I aim to capture as much of this magic as possible this cycle.

Tarot Tale:

During a particularly frustrating weekend with writers block I decided to do a reading for myself, specific to my writers block conundrum. I had been working with my cards all day to craft some exclusive blessings for my (hopefully) soon to be available e-book, and we had really been vibing so I decided to take a break, reset my intention and do a personal spread.

Five of Cups, The World Turned Upside Down and the Ten of Wands.

Now, I respect the cards, I know (think?) the cards respect me, but in the moments after laying my spread, I may have shared some choice words with them that I (only slightly) regret.

Despite the obvious reading on the face and the readily apparent connections to my situation, it was my deeper reflection that led to an understanding that I will begrudgingly say was worth the boot to the head initially served to me.

A long time ago, in a different life, as a different person, I was in a position I would’ve died to be in for the last two years (that’s another story): I had two managers fighting to offer me a promotion where I worked. Due to policies/politics, they could not directly tell me the situation, but I was informed I could only interview/be considered for one promotion at a time, and they left it to me to choose which to interview for “first”, with a clear sense that I was simply choosing my next job.

I made my choice and began my new position a week later, in that interlude however I found myself in the office of the manager who would not be adding me to their team. She remarked “You’re going to do fantastic with them, you always put your heart in whatever you do, that’s why I wanted you up front with me”.

This moment, chatting casually in her office, resurfaced in my mind while reflecting on this “rude” card spread and I believe helped me identify the root of my writer’s block issue after some reviewing my many work in progress projects.

I put my heart into whatever I do, and recently my heart has been feeling, frankly, not fantastic (Holidays + SAD go hand and hand for me as it is). I was still writing, and finding so much joy in it, however the negative emotions clouding my energy was showing in my work. When I would return to continue or edit a tale I would notice it all sounded wrong, as if a stranger somehow learned to write in my style. Leading to a frustrating edit session that made no real progress towards completion and simply hindered my efforts and undermined my confidence.

The Five of Cups was the pain of the past clouding my heart, The Reversed World representing the failed plans of the past, the lack of completion in the present, the fear of stagnation in the future… And the Ten of Wands was lesson I needed to learn to move forward, also, this month’s Card of the Moon

Card of the Moon

Source: Rider-Waite Tarot

This lovely has been stalking me for a few weeks now. It has come up at work, it has come up at home, it has come up in new and old personal relationships… It has come up in quite literally every aspect of my life.

The Ten of Wands depicts a person carrying a large bundle of ten sticks towards a village in the background. Their back is hunched over and their head pointed downward. In some art variants this card can feel particularly sorrowful, like the carrier is about to collapse, overwhelmed by their burden, though to me, this is never the true message.

The card represents responsibility, duties, stress from obligations, burning out from burdens and simply struggle. Specifically however, this card represents the burdens we place on ourselves, the stress that comes from the standards we hold ourselves to.

The suit of wands in the modern world is most often associated with the career, success and action. The ten represents the moment just before success. You have proven yourself through many trials, advanced past many struggles, you have reaped the fruits of your labor and just need to carry them home to celebrate.

While reviewing this card in each of my decks there was one thing I noticed that I hadn’t before, despite the burden being carried, each man or woman depicted was confidently taking their next step. They may have looked like they were at a breaking point, but their steps showed a certain level of confidence. Determination.

An air of obligation? The last flames before total burnout and collapse? Had they pushed their limits too far and their pride was failing them?

This train of thought eventually yielded the solution to my quandaries.

They could rest, but they felt obligated not to. Not until their journey was complete, not until they had fulfilled their duty and returned with their heavy load. Only then could they rest, only then could they feel fulfilled in this cycle and truly be ready to begin the next.

So they marched onward, confident they would arrive and enjoy true relaxation when they reached their destination.

When.

As I stated in my first musical tale, I genuinely want to share so much of what I’ve written. I’ll admit initially I did feel a level of obligation to meet a specific timeline, but I’ve recognized now rushing tales or even spells or blessings out for the sake of posting content is not sustainable. Or frankly going to produce good results.

“If it means something to you, it is meaningful.“

I want everything I post to mean something to me, I want everything I share to be meaningful, even if only for me. Which means I will share when content is ready, when the journey is complete. Then, I can rejoice in one cycle’s completion and advance to the next better for the experience.

I guess just generally as a writer, I’m also learning I can write at anytime, drafting is easy. Editing? I need to be in my happy witchy place for that to be a fruitful endeavor.

Witchy Biz Updates

Blog Updates: Writers block is finally breaking, which means new tales are coming! Unfortunately a number of tales are getting tweaked start to finish, so there’s still some work to be done, but I’m happy with the direction things are moving in. Less happy to say rituals section is officially canceled-with the silver lining being that much of what I planned to share there will be simplified/condensed into new Witchy 101 section(s), and the effort that would have been spent on researching, preparing and sharing new rituals will be reallocated to existing projects.

Ko-Fi: Ko-Fi remains my preference for donations, and now has memberships setup in addition to my craft store! I will also post behind the scenes crafting content for free. Biggest perk of paid memberships is discord access, where you’ll be able to chat with me, get sneak peaks (even live looks) at what I’m working on, or make requests for blessings/affirmations specific to your situation! I’m working on getting a better “Here’s what you get” post together to formally “go live” but reach out if you have any questions!

Patreon: is all but dead- four membership slots are available but at an absurd price I don’t expect anyone to pay, which is why I’m not even linking it here (But if you’ve got cash to burn and want to help a witch live her dream, its there, chose your amount/non-monthly donate options are also in the footer).

Threads and Instagram: In-between posts here you’ll find what’s going on in my world on these profiles!

Closing Thoughts

That’s all for this moon!

If you practice or celebrate I hope you have a very festive Yule, a belated Bodhi Day, and a very happy or merry Christmas, Hanukkah and/or Kwanzaa. Any other holidays I missed that you practice let me know, I would love to learn!

Till next time,

Stay magical friends.