Z's Grimoire

My hands were cold. From the moment I awoke it was my only sense, the only thought in my mind.

Soon later, another thought joined: Where is she? We had fought the night before, as we often did, yet this morning she was gone.

It seemed it was only weeks ago we had connected, her passion and beauty providing fresh inspiration for my soul. Her desires melding with mine to ignite new dreams, forge new paths, to learn new lessons. How did we come to this?

Ever a studious witch, after our initial connection I began researching ways to curry her favor, as although I was not to be a servant, I felt blessed she had chosen to join my quest and strived to honor her in return. Purchasing a new ornate mirror and performing a few new routines before it while wearing her mark seemed an easy way to deepen our bond.

After just three days of repeating my new form of worship she appeared beside me in the reflection of our new mirror. Her pink and teal aura seeming relaxed, simmering almost, compared to the boiling inferno of our first meeting.

“Why do this ritual dear one?“ she whispered with a stern yet curious expression her playful hazel eyes glowing with a rich emerald aura.

“To honor you Anadyomene, it pleases you I hope?” I answered cautiously, taken aback slightly that she was questioning my intent, I’d thought the added symbology would make it clear.

She closed her eyes, sighed and seemed to be deep in thought for a moment. Her posture stiffened. Reopening her eyes, they were icy, cloaked in an aura of the deepest, darkest, ice cold sea. Her curious expression slipping to anger.

“And you expect in return?” she demanded, her gaze and mine now locked, frozen, cold.

“I’m- not sure? Your favor? Nothing?” tripping over my words as my mind somersaulted “the scrolls said-” the words died in my throat.

“Scrolls? You would seek answers in a stranger’s beliefs when the knowledge is already within you?” her anger now inescapable, I was entirely frozen in her gaze.

“I don’t understand goddess, what is within?”

“Within dear one. It is found within.” her stern gaze remained, though her fury began to ebb and her icy hold released me “Until you find it, I cannot help you.”

Over the next few weeks her stern semi-cryptic teaching style combined with my stubborn nature resulted in a deep conflict developing between us. Her icy stare would freeze me, preventing my movement, preventing my progress, keeping me frozen until she bored of arguing with me.

Unlike the Moon Goddess who was incredibly patient and let me reflect on Her teachings for as long as I needed to truly learn; Anadyomene demanded action not reflection. Waiting for me to be comfortable with a plan drove her mad, but she could not directly compel me to act, leading to our feud.

She began demanding action, threatening disaster beyond imagination if she remained ignored, I made honest attempts to respect her wishes, but a few glorious failures later and soon enough I had failed at every turn to fulfil her demands.

She continued to ask why I did the ritual, who it was for, what I was expecting from it, and I offered every answer that came to my mind, but none of them were right.

It seemed just as soon as our relationship and begun to blossom, it began to wither.

Last night she repeated her original question, the sole question she still demanded an answer for daily:

“Why do this ritual dear one?“

I’d answered countless times, each attempt invoking fresh rage, yet I was prepare with a new answer daily regardless, hopeful one may ring true.

“For us, goddess. For me, my soul, my confidence, my beauty to grow and to honor your power, your beauty, your love, the desire you instill in all hearts.”

For the first time in a long time, I heard her beautiful laugh ring out, yet soon after, it began to snigger, her expression changing and her laughter ended revealing this answer was no better than the prior.

Her eyes were wreathed in a deep cerulean aura and I was immediately frozen in her gaze once more. “Surely you can do better than that?” She sneered.

Locked once more, frozen to the core, my mind raced for another answer, any potential explanation to offer. Yet my mind kept returning to her laugh. It was still a beautiful sound, the most beautiful sound I’d heard in days, yet this time it was… Darker, almost a sinister squeal sounding sneakily within her sniggering. Spending too much time lost in thought, her patience expired.

She sighed and released me from her gaze, her face now read pure contempt, “Another waste of potential.” she angrily muttered before vanishing in a wisp of pink smoke.

Leaving me to a few restless hours of sleep, and waking with cold hands.

Leaving my house and going about my day the chill remained, clasping a warm cup of witch’s brew, conjuring flames to entertain children, even wearing gloves while sitting by a fire, nothing helped. They were still so cold.

I could not help but notice the lack of her presence, the frost lingering despite all efforts made it hard to not draw a connection. Was this chill her promised disaster beyond imagination? Would it spread, or grow more unbearable? Could it be reversed?

As it became harder to feel any sensation in my fingers, my concerns grew. I pleaded in my mind that she remove this curse, that she speak to me, to give me a chance to understand her anger. I begged to be able to simply feel again, even if we parted ways permanently, just give me back my hands!

Arriving home after work, no longer able to feel anything beyond my wrists, I ran angrily to our mirror. Even if she would not answer, it was the only thing left I could turn to. Arriving before it, it’s golden frame shimmering in the moonlight the only light in the dim room, I directed a wave of energy to ignite candles surrounding it. Standing before it, fully illuminated, I roared:

“What do you want from me?!?” My anger palpable, “Why do this? What do you gain?”

Her reflection did not manifest, but her voice did “Why do this ritual, dear one?” she mockingly replied “You sought my favor and have received it, are you not happy with my gift?”

“I sought a partnership! An ally for my journey! A-“

“An escape” she sneered, her visage appearing in the mirror as her reflection began to glow beside me once more “A hideaway, an excuse. Why did you make your initial plea? Need I remind you?”

My hands were still cold, but there was a fire growing in my heart. Her words and her taunting expression in the mirror were only fanning the flames.

Her eyes began to glow cerulean. Knowing she intended to freeze me once more, unwilling to suffer another losing argument, and furious about my hands, I did the only thing I hadn’t yet tried. I used my magic.

Casting a quick counter incantation to deflect her gaze, I prayed my grounding magic would be enough. I had no plans beyond enduring, as ‘defeating’ a deity was not something a witch like me was capable of. My aura was ignited in a rich amethyst hue, slivers of silver energy flickering between my fingertips, I raised my hands and met her gaze with a defiant stare of my own.

The good news? I successfully deflected her assault and remained unfrozen. The bad news? That deflection rebounded the energy to the face of mirror shattering it to countless shards and extinguishing the candles illuminating the space.

Both of our aura’s had vanished simultaneously with the candle light. I no longer sensed her presence, and my hands were no longer cold. While that latter did bring some relief, the former brought great concern. Was she hurt? Did I hurt her?

“Anadyomene?” I called out “Goddess?”

My hands were no longer cold… In fact, they were quite warm. Too warm. I sensed a new energy, a new presence had found it’s way into my home, and my instincts were burning telling me to beware. The heat was reaching a critical point, feeling as if my hands were moments from igniting in flames.

“Those hands are awfully dangerous aren’t they?” a new voice sarcastically echoed within the room, it continued to mock “So much damage done in so little time.”

“Show yourself!” I barked “Step out of the shadows and see what they can do!”

“Tsk, tsk, tsk… what would Anadyomene say?” the voice mused playfully, before manically exclaiming “Oh wait, you can’t ask her anymore!”

An insane laughter began to fill the space, echoing endlessly, triggering madness. Feeling my core begin to rock against it’s energy, I went to ignite my protective spells once more.

“Oh no.” the laughter ending and an eerie silence falling “No, you won’t be doing any of that.”

My right wrist became engulfed in a ring of fire, immediately cutting off my magic. My arm was then suddenly twisted and ripped behind me by some unseen force as if being tied for strappado.

“She tried to guide you, even tried to warn you.” the sarcastic and playful tones completely removed from this strangers voice now.

My left arm now assumed the same position as the right, the pain causing me to let out an audible groan.

“She tried to be gentle.” In the darkness I heard the sound of a blade being drawn and steps approaching “Now we’ll do things my way…”

To be continued…